7 min read · by Isabelle from Melloa
Why I Can’t Watch Horror Anymore
Shadow Work, Vibration, and the Season of Fear
Once upon a time I loved horror. The tension. The silence before the scream. The small thrill of being safe while pretending not to be. It felt like flirting with danger while sitting comfortably on the couch.
But since I began my Shadow Work I cannot do it anymore. I no longer watch. I absorb. Every sound every shadow every scream lodges itself somewhere inside me and stays. I carry the story in my body for days.
When the Monster Crosses the Screen
Recently I watched Monsters The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story and before that Monsters The Jeffrey Dahmer Story. Then Netflix announced Monsters The Ed Gein Story and I felt that familiar pull, a strange fascination mixed with resistance. I told myself I could handle it. I even wore one of my spinner rings while watching, trying to self-soothe, to keep a distance between me and the story. It worked a little. My fingers spun calm while the screen spun terror. That small motion reminded me why I created Melloa in the first place. These rings are not just jewelry. They are quiet tools for grounding when the world feels too loud. But later, in the quiet of the night, the images came back anyway.
My fingers spun calm while the screen spun terror.
For days I kept asking myself the same questions. Why am I drawn to this? Why am I both horrified and captivated? Why does this darkness still seduce me?
That is the paradox of horror. It touches something raw and ancient. It seduces our instinct for survival. It whispers to the deepest part of the brain, telling it you are alive because you are scared.
When Fear Becomes Too Familiar
And now IT Welcome to Derry is coming, promising another return to Pennywise and the childhood fear we never quite outgrew. I smile because my limit these days is Wednesday Addams. That is as dark as my nervous system allows. I no longer need borrowed terror to remind me that life itself can already be frightening.
Sensitivity is not fragility. It is information.
I do not judge anyone who enjoys these shows. For many people they are a safe way to feel adrenaline, to release pressure, to explore the forbidden in a world that feels controlled. Perhaps that is why horror endures through every generation. It lets us face the monster without truly risking ourselves.
Real-Life Fear Is Already Enough
But I already live with enough real fears. The fear that my child will not sleep. The fear of losing time. The fear of not doing enough. The fear that the world is spinning too fast while I am still learning to breathe. I do not need the artificial ones too.
I no longer need artificial fear to remind me that I am alive. Real life is already thrilling enough.
The Law of Attraction and the Frequency of Fear
And then there is the question of vibration, that subtle science that the Law of Attraction tries to describe. Everything we consume shapes the frequency we emit. When we spend hours in dread our body learns that note. When we spend time in calm or gratitude our whole system softens. The world begins to reflect that softness back to us. It is not magic. It is chemistry and perception working together.
Fear tightens the field. Peace expands it.
My sensitivity is no longer something I try to fix. It has become a compass. It tells me what nourishes me and what drains me. It shows me where my energy belongs.
Back to the Light
So this Halloween, while Welcome to Derry and Monsters The Ed Gein Story fill screens with shadow, I will be somewhere else. I will light a candle, hold a flower in one hand and a silver spinner ring in the other, and let both bring me back to the light.
I choose not to watch horror out of reverence. Reverence for my peace, my energy, my creative vibration.
And perhaps that is the quiet rebellion of our times. To choose softness and beauty, again and again, in a world that profits from fear.
